Cancer sucks

Seriously. I just found out about yet another instance of cancer in my immediate circle. A friend's wife had a tumor removed a week or so ago. They needed to do a biopsy to determine if the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. He just let me know that they got the test back and it has. I have no idea at this point what it means or how bad it is, I'm not sure that they do either. All I know is I'm tired of stories like this. If you haven't already, donate to my LAF fundraiser. Hell, donate to anyone's. I don't care. Just help us raise money to do the research that's necessary to make these stories a thing of the past.

Imagine, it's the middle or end of the 21st centrury, your grandkids are reading their history books about the plauges of cancers that used to devistate families. And they read about the simple cure and all of the research and development that went into finding it...and you tell them that you helped, it was just a small way...just a few dollars really, and you didn't receive any awards or recognition or anything but that it was okay becasue you knew that every dime raised was a dime that would help find a cure and they did find one, and you did help and that's all that matters. That they will never have to worry about cancer, that's all that matters.

This is decidedly NOT fun

Just got back from the dentist. Second visit in as many weeks. This time for two fillings. They decided it was a great idea to numb my entire left side of my face, nostril, bottom eyelid, cheek. Everything.

Everything, that is, except the area directly where they were doing their work on the second tooth.

In fairness, it didn't hurt as bad as it would have without the numbing, I assume.

This sucks, I feel like I got kicked in the head and it hasn't even worn off yet.

Why do I think this is really going to hurt a lot in a few hours?

So, four fillings on the right side on the 8th, two on the left on the 17th, with the added bonus of yesterdays little foot post extraction thrown in for fun. And it's only Wednesday.

Well, that was unexpected.

I wrote the other day about the pain I started having in my foot.

Turns out it wasn't in my head after all (I'd sort of convinced myself that it was.) I called last week for an appointment with Dr. Clark, who did my surgery, and even after a little whining about how painful it was, the earliest I got in was this afternoon. I expected him to tell me that it was normal. That the nerves were just healing or something and the pain I felt was to be expected. Instead, he told me what I secretly feared...the pin that he'd put in my foot to hold the bone together was coming out.

Better still, he thought we should cut on in now and pull it out, since it would only get worse. And since I could think of nothing more exciting to do with a Tuesday afternoon than to lay back, have someone numb by foot, cut into it and take a pair of pliers and pull a pin out of a bone, I said, why not. Thirty minutes, and to be honest, a little nausea, queasiness and dizziness (I've become such a freakin' wimp!) later...the pin's out, I'm stitched back up and I now (again) can't wash my foot for five days... yippee.

And I suppose, when the anesthesia wears off, I'll be happy about it, assuming it doesn't hurt like I'm imagining it will.

I'm off to make enchiladas. Comfort food.

Tomorrow, the dentist...

Snow

Robyn's out of town this weekend. The only thing about that I like is that I was planning on getting out and doing some road training on the bike. So, what happens?

Saturday: Low: 19 High: 33 Chance of snow 80%
Sunday: Low: 17 High: 30 Chance of snow 60%

If I didn't know better, I'd think I was supposed to go skiing. Well, if it's not too bad, maybe I'll hit the road anyway.

I sent out my first mass e-mail to family and friends regarding the LAF fundraising. So far, no response...nope, just checked again, nothing. Maybe I should have begged more.

Pain

Since I wrote last Saturday about not having any pain in my foot when I rode, and I truly didn't, I've had at least three episodes where I've taken a step and had such excruciating pain shoot through the top of my foot, seemingly along the line of the scar (thought I'm pretty sure it's not the scar itself) that I double over. I really don't think that it was riding, though I suppose that putting that kind of pressure on the ball of my foot may have contributed. I first noticed when I put the wrong shoes on. Not the wrong shoes as in not my shoes, but since the surgery, there are a few pairs of shoes that I just cannot wear. They either have a seam or the tongue lays right across the scar and it hurts or they've got a weird toe box (most likely stretched out from before the surgery) and aren't comfortable to walk in. Well, I was getting dressed for a party and put on a pair of black shoes that just killed my foot. So, they're going in the "do not wear" pile, no big deal. Problem is that since then, even in my shoes that I've been wearing a lot since the surgery, I still am getting the same shooting pain. It's not constant, and it's not even predictable. I've had it once while sitting in the car not putting any pressure on my foot at all. Weird. If it happens again today, I'll call the doctor and see if it's something to worry about. Otherwise, I suppose I should just HTFU I guess. Damn foot.

In LAF news, I've now raised $25 of my goal. Yippee! (Of course, I donated it myself, but hey, it's a start...)

Comments

Hey, I just noticed that I've had a couple of comments to some of my post! Two, to be exact.

Back in January, I wrote a post about supporting Barack Obama, or rather my conflicted feelings about not supporting him, called White Man's Burden. Someone named Britany cared so deeply for my feelings that she wrote that it was "great info to know." That's fabulous! Until I realized that she was probably writing up an insurance plan for me to cover my angst caused medical condition or something.

And then in October, when I wrote my post about my first week post-operation on my foot, I go another comment, this one from some guy who tried to scare the bejebus out of me because of the pain pump that they'd used on my foot. Too bad it wasn't my shoulder, I could got a piece of the action from the class action lawsuit!

Wow! People like me! They really like me!

Leaving well enough alone.

As much as I like the status quo, I do tend, every once in a while, to try to crank things up a notch to put a little extra challenge into something that I've agreed to do. One of the most difficult ones off the top of my head was when I entered into a story writing challenge with a group of people over on the Zoetrope writers workshop site. If I remember correctly, the challenge was to write a short piece that contained four things. It had to have a couple, someone had to die, there had to be mention or discussion of the afterlife, and it had to have a key. Not satisfied with those restrictions, I decided it would be fun to write it without the letter E. That's right, without the most common letter in written English. I dare say that I did an alright job, it ended up having only one E, at the end, as a sort of clue to the reader as to what had been missing, since some of them seemed to not notice. It was fun, challenging, and I took a little measure of extra pride having met my own personal challenge.

Well, I'm starting to get the urge to do it again. Only I can't really decide how. Yesterday, I was the 86th rider to join Team Fatty for the Austin, Texas Livestrong Challenge. The more I think about it, though, the more I want to do. See, I made a list. It's a list of all of the people in my family who have had, have, or died from cancer of any type. Well, there are twelve people on that list, including Robyn's immediate family that I know of. There's her father and grandfather; my father; my great-uncle (who just lost his battle on November 29th); my grandfathers (both sides); grandmother; step-grandmother; an aunt; an uncle; a niece.

And that's not counting the three or four friends who I can think of off the top of my head.

If you'll pardon my French, that's just too fucking many people. This thing needs to be beaten and beaten badly.

So, just raising money and flying to Austin and riding 90 miles doesn't feel like enough.

So, I thought I might ride a little more. And try to raise a little more.

I won't lie. I was already mulling over the idea of trying for the century a month thing again in 2009, especially since I had such a great go of it this year. (sarcasm) And I'll admit, if I somehow raise over $3,000 and get invited to the Livestrong awards diner in Austin on October 24th, that would be cool. And if I, by some miracle, managed to score an invite to ride with the man himself in the Ride for the Roses by raising $10,000 or more, that wouldn't suck, either.

But, really, I think it's because I feel the need to do more and I'm not a doctor or scientist or hospice worker and honestly, me changing my life now to become any of those things would be a lot harder than what I'm thinking about doing and since, you know, I'm a little lazy, I'm going to do it my way. Symbolically.

I'm thinking about riding a century a month and somehow using that to try to raise even more money for LAF. So far, the following thoughts have crossed my mind.

1. I could try to get people to sponsor, like for the walk-a-thons I did for something as a kid, you know, so much per mile. So, if you pledged 50 cents a mile, or better, a whole dollar, for every century I completed, you'd donate $50, or $100. I know there'd be a certain amount of trust involved in this, there are plenty of months around here were there are no organized rides, so I'd have to document a personal century and you'd have to trust me. My thought is to sign up again for the Year-round challenge with the Ultra Marathon Bicycling Association and follow their rules for personal centuries. That way there's an organized body tracking my rides and I could show this as "proof." This has the added benefit of qualifying me for that Larry Schwartz award, that I wrote about last year, if I ride all 12
   
2. I could try to get some local companies on board, to either donate or let me raise money by putting up signs at their locations or something. This one's not so well thought out, yet.
3. I could get some other local riders on board to try this with me. Hey, maybe I could get Fatty himself (who I've never met but who sometimes feels like a close friend because of his amazing way of sharing his life on his blog, which if you haven't read, go read it, it's way better than this one and not just because other people read it. I've thought about stop writing "you" and just write "me" instead, since, to the best of my knowledge I'm my only regular reader. But, I digress.)

Anyway, this is just a rough idea. If I know myself at all, and I'm finding out regularly that maybe I don't, I'll loose my excitement about this, realize how overwhelming the idea is (for me) and just give up. Maybe.

Oh, speaking of riding. I just rode my longest ride since before we went to Guatemala in September. I rode 20 whole miles this morning (hey, it was 32 degrees when I left home!) I am so pathetically out of shape thanks to my foot surgery that I feel like a slug. So the thought of a century a month starting next month scares the hell out of me right now. But, hey, it's nothing compared to what cancer survivors deal with every day, so who am I to complain. The good news is that the foot felt mostly fine. The other good news (see how I avoided calling this the bad new? I'm still in the optimist stage of the idea) is that it gave me time alone to think and this crazy idea is what I came up with.

I'll keep you posted.

I'm in!

I'm in, and I'm going big. I just signed up for the Austin, TX Livestrong Challenge for Team Fatty. And I'm going big. I want to raise $3,000.00. So, if you can, donate. It's not a great time, I know, to be asking for donations but if you can't know, remember me when you can. It's a great cause, it's a great team and it's a horrid, horrid disease.

Um, hi again.

So, I think I just committed myself to ride the Livestrong Challenge in Austin next year. Awesome.

I apparently suck at this blogging thing. Too much life stuff going on, I guess. Excuses, excuses.

The foot is doing well. I'll try to get a picture up later because it looks much better and I'd hate for you to think that that last shot is what I'm stuck with. I've been out of the boot for a little over a week now, I think. At first, shoes felt really weird, and to be honest, because of the swelling that still occurs and the relatively numb feeling of my big toe still (doc says that should come back) it's still a little weird. I've only got about 3/4 of my flexibility back, but walking in real shoes is helping that. I'd like to say that I've been really good about PT but I'd be lying. I guess when my toe's all stiff in a year, I have no one but myself to blame. I think subconsciously I'm thinking that having a stiff toe will help me transfer power to the pedal better, or assist when I finally try bouldering. But the real truth is I'm lazy.

Speaking of pedals, Robyn and I got out on the bikes last Saturday for a short ride around the park. It was my first time on the bike in two months. It felt wonderful. I haven't resumed commuting, yet, but I will soon. Love that winter riding!

Eight days post-op

So, I had the before mentioned bunionectomy surgery on Wednesday, Sept 24th. Other than the paperwork that I'd received from my doctor's office told me to go to the wrong location for the surgery (thankfully, right across the street from LDS hospital, where it turns out I was supposed to go) everything went really well. I checked in around 11:30, was taken to a room to change and get prepped. They came in a put an IV in my arm (not my favorite part) and explained what would be happening. A little while later (not more than 30 minutes) they came in to wheel me to surgery. I know why they do it, but it was a little tiring that every single person who spoke with me asked me the same two or three questions: "What's your full name?" "What is your birth date?" "What are you having done today?"

I know they need to make sure that they're speaking with and, more so, operating on the right person and doing the right procedure but you'd think that after a few quality control checks, they'd be comfortable with it. Just saying...

I ended up being mostly passed out for the whole thing. I don't think I was completely out, like I was having heart surgery or anything, but the anesthesiologist kept me out enough to not be aware of anything. I have no memory of anything between moving to the bed in surgery and having a mask put on me to waking up in the bed in the recovery room. Which, for the record, is absolutely fine with me.

Though they gave me crutches to use, I think I've used them maybe two times. The walking boot they have me strapped in to allowed me to stand and walk that evening. I initially had a pain pump feeding pain killer directly to the site (see below) so there was very, very little pain at all. In fact, for the first four or five days, I couldn't feel my foot at all.

Here's my leg fully booted up and with the pain pump attached. It's threaded down into the boot and there are two catheters directly into my foot. That part grossed me out when I thought of it. Needless to say, I was very careful not to hit the pump or catch it on anything that might yank it off.




I went in on Tuesday (Sept 30) to have my first post op checkup. They changed the bandages and removed the pain pump. I will admit that I was queasy as they removed everything, the bandages were soaked in iodine and it looked gross. The doctor removed the catheters without me even feeling it. Dr. Clark deserves every cent my insurance company is paying him! (and, unfortunately, me...insurance in this country sucks.)

Here's my foot on Friday, Oct 3rd (today). I removed the 2nd set of bandages for the first time and changed them (this is prior to me washing up my foot. Most of the yellow crap is still dressing from the surgery. I know what you're thinking, "he hasn't washed his foot in 1 1/2 weeks, gross!" I was expecting that, too. but it wasn't as bad as I would think!)




And a comparison shot. Notice that my left foot also has an offending bunion (that bump behind the big toe) that will eventually need to be fixed as well. Before surgery, the one on my right foot was much bigger than the one on the left, but you'll have to picture that in your head, as I forgot to take a pre-op picture.


Other than the swelling, that's a pretty normal foot. I'm looking forward to seeing if all of my shoes need to be replaced!

Stitches come out on Monday, at which point I'll start being hyper cautious again, afraid of opening up the wound. Looks like I'll have a pretty good scar, but I'll take that over the foot pain any day. I do have a few months of PT ahead of me (I've already started somewhat) that will consist mainly of stretching the toe up and down to increase flexibility in the joint.

I have to say that this has, so far, far exceeded my best expectations. I won't say it's painless, and the boot is annoying as all hell, and I'm dying to get back on my bike again; but this has been nothing like I expected. And I'm shocked. I've known two or three people who've had this done and I'm starting to think they were a bunch of babies. That, or the procedure has gotten significantly better in the past couple of years. I think the pain pump was my saving grace. So cheers to whoever invented the pain pump!